with a curl in the middle of her forehead

Mardi Gras, anyway

2010-02-16T13:55:00.000-05:00

So, having finally managed to eat a meal at Local Harvest Cafe on Morgan Ford, I'm feeling a bit community-fuzzy. In a good way, of course. Valentine's Day, before noon, and the place was packed. I turned to Mike and said, "so this is where all the young folks are hiding." The clientele was all roughly our age and persuasion: 20-somethings, neatly yet indy-pendently dressed, some bearded,

Olympic Musing

2010-02-15T19:15:00.005-05:00

The Olympics started on Friday night. We weren't home for the opening ceremonies, but have watched parts of many of the competitions since then. Mike has said that his mom loves the Olympics because of the special-interest stories; where he or she is from, what adversity, what opportunity has gotten him or her to this place in the nick of time. The way I was raised, these stories were always

2009-12-15T22:56:00.002-05:00

There's something about education reform, about educational value systems, and lopsided and impersonal education that preoccupies me and that I want to investigate. Do personal tutoring and homeschooling create more well-rounded pupils, more well-rounded citizens and compassionate characters? Can we create systems that equally value all ways of learning, all

...is back at it again

2009-06-11T11:36:00.002-05:00

I'm flirting with Tropic of Cancer right now, and want to be a beautiful writer again. This life of the bohemian, the hobo literature - I want the bravery to strike out with a pocketful of coins and a packed bag full of underwear and blank notebooks.Henry Miller does successfully what I think Jack Kerouac attempted and failed - at least in capturing my attention - to exploit the beauty of stream

Now What?

2009-01-06T12:27:00.003-05:00

I haven't been writing lately, on- or off-line. I've had a lot of trouble concentrating, really. When I try to lay down my thoughts, I'm daunted by a sense of, well, trite-ness. All I manage to write about lately are accounts of various events, and even those remain half-finished. I've considered a daily blog or journal entry, to keep some creative juices flowing, but feel unmotivated or unworthy

Best of 2008: Films

2008-12-31T10:37:00.000-05:00

My eyes are a bit bleary this morning; deep dark circles make me look ill, I think. I slept on the couch - the house was empty, and I'd told Z to stay at home so that I could sleep in peace. And so I pulled my comforter off of my bed, threw all the sofa pillows on the floor, and curled into a tight ball, squashed by the eager advances of the dog. He loves to sleep under the covers too, you see.I

Nevertheless

2008-11-21T12:46:00.004-05:00

So I've taken my first steps. Towards life, I suppose.Last week, in utter frustration with my goals and decisions, I scratched out an application to the UWM graduate school non-degree program in business so I can take some classes for credit (mainly as refresher courses in math, since the last math class I took was affectionately called "Math Stupids".) I'm waiting to hear back about whether I'm

Tremendous Potential

2008-11-14T11:39:00.002-05:00

I've been feeling a strange mixture of disappointment and anger lately. I've felt that so many people simply won't step up and claim responsibility, for each other, for our actions, for the future. And the hardest part is realizing my own complicity in this process.This is why I've always railed against the concept of "deserve." For example, I have angrily been repeating to myself "I deserve

Looking Forward (eventually)

2008-11-05T10:36:00.003-05:00

I know I should be thinking about Barack's election realistically - he isn't our savior and we have so far to go - but let me just be the silly 24 year old that I am and celebrate in irrepressible glee for a few days (might I say gloat?), and then we can get down to the business at hand.

November 4, 2008

2008-11-05T03:36:00.003-05:00

Oh. My. God.

An Empty Belly is the Best Cook

2008-11-03T13:20:00.002-05:00

On the blog My American Melting Pot, Lori asks the question "what is white American eating," and I thought I'd respond.I've thought about American cuisine a lot lately - national cuisine, micro-culture cuisines - and I've been doing something like a comparative culinary "study" of my heritage, and what differences I've noticed are pretty stark: not in the cuisine itself, but in the culture that

Something Piquant this way Comes

2008-10-31T09:05:00.004-05:00

This is a recipe I found in a beat-up old cookbook of my mom's. Paul Prudhomme is a chef from St. Landry Parish in Louisiana, right damn smack next to the parish where the Stagg family hails from. He always looked like Dom Delouise to me. I had to make due with a meager pantry, but it turned out delicious(ly?)Paul Prudhomme's Apple-Raisin StuffingIngredients1 large onion, chopped1 green pepper,

The Coming Election

2008-10-28T12:33:00.002-05:00

I'm nervous. Very very nervous. I try not to think about it, but wish I were strong enough to dedicate the next week to making sure Barack Obama gets to the White House. Because he gives me hope. Because he offers solutions. Because he's a mixed brother with an almost unbelievably American background and he makes me giddy.Me? Miss Apathetic? Good lord. I'll write about it, if I can think about

Confronting the Stranger

2008-10-22T08:41:00.004-05:00

Last Tuesday dark and mild, I rode my bike across the river, somewhat stoned. It was an exhilerating ride. I felt swift and immortal, wobbling along the rutted road, probably not paying as much attention as I should have, seeing as I had no bike light or helmet.I came home and wrote about how alive I felt. Because I was feeling so much.What made me feel so alive was this battering sense of

Jazz and Autumn Leaves

2008-10-14T16:50:00.006-05:00

Something about autumn makes me want to listen to jazz. The reedy voice of Billie Holiday, the somber passion of John Coltrane, somehow seem to accompany the shower of autumn leaves. Yesterday, I listened to Nina Simone the entire 45 minute walk to and 45 minute walk from work. Nothing has ever made me hold my head up so high. When I got to work, I did some reading on Simone, and have so far

Thoughts when on a sugar high

2008-10-09T22:50:00.007-05:00

"Under the pavement - a beach!""In food, as in death, we feel the essential brotherhood of man."I feel like all of my co-workers have something that they live for outside of the office. Something greater than a hobby; an obsession or a goal. Cecilia is a singer with performances to prepare. Stephane is training for marathons. Lisa performs folk music. Amber has the baby and Barry his music and

The X-Files and tiny investigators

2008-10-07T09:58:00.004-05:00

I've been watching episodes from the first season of the X-Files with Melanie and Rosy lately. My dad and my sister were deep into the show when it was airing on television, but being the squeamish, easily frightened child that I was (resulting in the squeamish, easily frightened adult that I currently am) I never really watched it with them.But now I've caught more episodes in the last 30 days

The Year without a Summer

2008-10-03T12:26:00.003-05:00

I woke up this morning feeling like I'd been hit by the truck I'd been dreaming about. My body felt like I'd been exercising strenuously the day before rather than the under-the-weather ache I'd felt the last time I'd forgotten to take my medication.However, I woke up elated. Fresh. Eager to take on the day. Probably a little manic. Something I hadn't felt in quite a long time.I've run this

Why I'm so tired today

2008-10-02T08:52:00.006-05:00

Buendia called me last night. Midnight, actually. To apologize. It was surreal. When the phone rings in the middle of the night, I tend to reach for it automatically, without even waking up. And he asnwered the phone in an expectant monotone; "hi." As if I hadn't erased him from my phone and should know immediately who it was calling me at 11:51 on a Wednesday, two months after we broke up.

Why I'm Not Going to the mNSC Meeting Tonight

2008-09-30T11:27:00.002-05:00

For weeks I've asked myself at every meeting of the mNSC, in an accusatory voice, Why are you doing this? Some part of me felt persecuted - no: under scrutiny. As if somehow I was not a legitimate member. I didn't care in the right way, I wasn't dedicated to the right degree. My body may have been there, it may have been useful for lifting and lugging, but I wasn't quite right in the social

A Riddle: Or, Sara Stagg Looks Like a Toucan

2008-09-29T16:54:00.002-05:00

Two items from the weekend.First, the riddle.If you have one person on one side of the river with a bikeTwo people in the middle with a bike in a carAnd another person the other side of the river on footHow do they all get together?Second, the quiz we found online, featuring: ME.10) Joe is at a party where a lot of alcohol is being consumed. Henotices this very attractive girl sitting alone on a

Business and Whimsy

2008-09-24T09:18:00.002-05:00

I discovered the most delightful thing last night. I was in the bathroom at the UWM library, and the lock on the stall had a stylized engraving of a bathroom stall door, and the words, in whimsical lettering, Hiny Hiders. See the picture below. (Not mine, actually; found here. I really do need to invest in a digital camera.) When I got to work this morning, I decided to do a little research

Some thoughts on reading "Food and Wine"

2008-09-19T09:04:00.003-05:00

I was terribly giddy when I stole the magazine from the downtown YMCA. I was thrilled to thumb through the pages of elegant culinary photography and metropolitan wine recommendations. The chance to gaze upon a lifestyle that I thought I no longer longed for. (Remember the return from New York City? When I "decided" I was more than what I would up as in the city? I guess I never quite gave up that

Ronal Craig 1932-2008

2008-09-18T09:04:00.004-05:00

My grandfather died yesterday.I intend to write about it shortly. After my staff meeting.Le sigh.

As Brown as I Wanna Be

2008-09-15T11:45:00.003-05:00

This is hard for me to write about, because I was never really given a dialogue on race with my mother. My mom was in town this weekend, and it's so strange that this woman can have such a long history in interracial relationships and never have a conversation with her biracial daughters about race.I'm a little bit tired of the confess-all, anguished mixed-kid autobiographies, but I'm about to

Cities of Hope; or Utopian Urbanism

2008-09-12T15:15:00.010-05:00

I just finished reading an article which really piqued my interest. A few days ago, I stumbled across a website called Bad Subjects. "Bad Subjects is a collective that publishes a magazine (Bad Subjects: Political Education for Everyday Life) and provides access to it via a public access website." In issue 78, published in November 2007, Zack Furness of Chicago interviews David Pinder, a

My Heart in the Oven

2008-09-08T16:26:00.004-05:00

I find such delight in dinner parties and meals with unexpected people. Cooking with or for other people fills me up, even if I do have a million dishes to wash and never have enough seating. One day I'll fill my house with people; a simple, elegant dining room, a stunning, utilitarian (sexy) kitchen, full pantry, curious wine cellar, and lots of laughter and munching and crumbs.Until then, I

Crickets

2008-09-04T09:11:00.004-05:00

Last night, having written a lot of shitty prose in my blank new journal, I gave up and daydreamed myself to sleep. You know how sometimes a piece of music or a great movie gives you that happily sensual feeling? Last night it was the crickets. I turned off the TV, turned off the radio, and threw my book across the vast expanse of my bed. The chilly wind came in through my window, carrying the

Seeking the Dazzling Life

2008-09-02T09:12:00.005-05:00

Ach. Tuesday morning, September 2nd, 2008. Yesterday I was sitting in the park, under a tree, eating a sandwich, watching people go by, and I realized that I no longer see much sparkle in the world. I'm not charmed by much anymore; no more of those gasping "wow, life is great" feelings. And I hesitate to claim that it's because I haven't been drinking or taking drugs as much as I once did, but

Some other thoughts. Written last night before bed.

2008-08-28T10:54:00.004-05:00

It's funny, because today I was reading through some blogs, and one of them mentioned African Americans in Unitarian Universalism. It's so funny how topics seem to bubble up in disparate places at oddly coincidental times.At the meeting of the Racial Justice Committee, the outgoing co-chair's husband brought up the fact that he feels that a racial justice committee that focuses it's attentions on

Strange how you forget

2008-08-28T09:02:00.002-05:00

I wrote this, well, I don't know when. It has to have been fairly recently; it's in my most recent journal, and because of where it was located on a random page in the back, it probably is from within the last 4 weeks or so. And it's strange; I don't remember writing it, but thought I'd put it here as an example of how I was feeling until very recently.He said start writing to manage your grief

Squirm

2008-08-27T10:30:00.000-05:00

Ooh boy. There are so many things I want to write about it makes me squirm. But I can't concentrate here at my desk, surrounded by MYSO audition sheets, stranded violin bows and phone message beeps.The Democratic National Convention?The meeting of the Racial Justice Committee that I attended last night?The conflicted feelings for myself and others?Ahh, and if only I could get a cup of coffee and

Diversity in Student Programming

2008-08-24T15:19:00.000-05:00

MYSO is having seating auditions this weekend. We started Thursday morning, and it's Sunday afternoon and we're still chugging along. Close to 800 kids are trooping through the corridors; instruments, crumpled pages of music, and nervous parents in tow.I don't remember much about seating auditions last year; I was new to my job and the overwhelming numbers made that weekend a noisy blur. And

Age of Aquarius. I mean, Capricorn.

2008-08-22T11:20:00.000-05:00

"The bewilderments of the eyes are of two kinds, and arise from two causes," wrote Plato in The Republic, "either from coming out of the light or from going into the light, which is true of the mind's eye quite as much as of the bodily eye." He goes on to say that when a person leaves the light and enters into the shadows, his vision is perplexed, being unaccustomed to the dark. And when he

Moneymaker

2008-08-19T10:36:00.001-05:00

When I was in elementary school, I was pretty mischievous. Whenever someone told me not to do something, that was a direct invitation for me to do it. I was smart and I was sassy and I got in trouble, a lot.But I loved my school, and my teachers even more, and hated getting in trouble.The way that we kids got in trouble at Golda Meir elementary was to be called back into the coatroom, and we'd

A Week of Eating Dangerously

2008-08-15T14:25:00.000-05:00

I've been feeling somewhat heavy lately. Not in a weight sense, but in other ways. Spiritually, almost. Like, because I'm rather broke, and because I've been sleeping badly and consequently exhausted and lazy after work, I've been throwing together quick and dissatisfying meals. And that weighs me down somehow. Not being able to control what I eat has a big impact on my life. I think about food

Magic and Miracle

2008-08-15T11:25:00.000-05:00

I had this very strange and vivid dream na madrugada. It was interrupted by a phone call, and I dearly wish it could have played out to a conclusion, because it was quite a fantastical dream.I think it grew from some conversations I'd had earlier that evening. One about my sister's love for the show Charmed, and one about the feeling of dark fantasy that Portishead's new album Third gives

Trying to Get Involved

2008-08-14T10:38:00.000-05:00

Tuesday night, after my expensively awkward haircut, I went to People's Books for an MNSC meeting. Small group of people, only some of whom I recognized. The dynamics were fascinating. There was Sarandi, trying to be serious and business-like. One girl, with piercings and skinny jeans and moccasins, and essentially immature; not insecure exactly, but sort of desperate to prove herself;

Response or adendum to Women of Color and Beauty Carnival

2008-08-12T15:24:00.000-05:00

I wrote this short script for a writing class I took last summer. And what made me think of it now was the Women of Color and Beauty carnival over at yennenga. I'm going to pop it in here. (Sure do wish anyone was reading this.)...(cutting out some introduction stuff)...Suzanne. It’s kind of weird.Felicia. What is?Suzanne. Dating Mark.Felicia. Because we’ve known him so long?Suzanne. No, not that

Home yet?

2008-08-05T10:47:00.000-05:00

After getting home from work yesterday, I was at the kitchen sink washing dishes and thought, "I could get used to this." The kitchen and the living room make me happy. Open, well-lit and well-stocked, a mixture of funky utility and artistic intellectualism; those rooms feel like they could be home.But in my room, laying on my bed, I still feel terribly suspicious trying to get to sleep.

Unpacking My Life

2008-08-04T11:30:00.000-05:00

There's just a little too much to unpack (physically and mentally) to really get into everything that's happened lately. But I will. Oh I will. Moving and relationships and such.

Race spies and revolutionaries

2008-07-28T11:00:00.000-05:00

Dad and Mel and I went to Mayfair to see the X Files movie. Blah. Not worth the time, really. On the way home, Dad drove 25 miles per hour with the windows rolled down on North Avenue. And I realized that I don't feel as invincible as I once did. At 16, I wouldn't bat an eye at driving down North Ave. at 9:45 at night. I scorned people who professed a sense of unease. But now, I found myself

The center of my world

2008-07-25T15:16:00.000-05:00

Claire: I would like to know what is at the center of your world. Robbie Clark: Well, I'm 22, I guess I would say me. A month ago, I asked myself if I could list reasons to love Milwaukee and reasons to love myself. I explored reasons to love Milwaukee for a couple weeks, but still couldn't answer the question "why should I love and respect myself?" In the conversation with Nic Wednesday night,

Le sigh

2008-07-23T12:04:00.000-05:00

In order that I don't send this as an email, I'm going to post a letter that I wrote last night and am trying not to send, because I'd rather just have a conversation, which I'm hoping to have tonight.Of course I couldn't expect things to be perfect just because we talking briefly on Sunday. Of course we wouldn't fall into each other's arms like lovers. But that doesn't mean I didn't want to

What Does Your Community Look Like?

2008-07-21T14:00:00.000-05:00

Last week, on the blog Racialicious, Latoya Jackson posted an open thread, asking readers to comment on her question What Does Your Community Look Like? I wasn't going to respond to it, but it wasn't because I'm not interested. It's more that I wasn't willing to examine myself, to put my communities and socializing under a microscope like that. Because who knows what I might discover; or worse -

35th and FDL

2008-07-18T12:12:00.000-05:00

Seriously. Somestimes I'm a genius.When I wait for the bus on Humboldt, there's a bus that passes by frequently. It's always empty and the front display says "35th & FDL." While waiting for my #10 bus, I will often see many of these 35th & FDL pass, and usually I get rather annoyed that this line is so frequent, and there I stand, waiting for my stupid 10 bus.This morning, I was waiting in the

They keep the temperature at work set to 65 degrees!

2008-07-11T11:30:00.000-05:00

I've finished all of the complicated tasks at work, and it's only 11:30. If I could figure out a way, I'd sneak out and spend the day, oh, packing or singing or making granola.I've spent the last three weeks at Nic's house, eating, sleeping, doing (free) laundry, kissing... Sometime last week, I started feeling agitated, like I need to spend some time at my house, I need some time to myself. I

Crumple

2008-07-07T14:27:00.001-05:00

I'm feeling a little crumpled today, because Monday is like a sudden stop at the end of a rough and surreal collection of weeks.Whatever that means.

2008-06-24T03:13:00.000-05:00

Friday afternoon, driving west out of Milwaukee, I felt this odd pull. A reluctance to leave. Ironically, after 10 months of living in Riverwest, I was loathe to leave it for 5 days. As I've begun to tiptoe into that world, I find myself almost enchanted by it. Willing and eager to participate. But as with Hampshire college, I was terribly skeptical of the culture of Riverwest. The way it seems

Milwaukee Pride, Pt. 2

2008-06-16T16:51:00.000-05:00

But here I am. Here I've been for two years.I've felt something of a panic stirring inside me for a few months, and although I always feel restless as the seasons change, I guess I've decided to start doing something about it. Because, at the same time that I am making long-term plans to move away, I'm also making short-term plans to understand and perhaps one day appreciate the where and now. (

Milwaukee Pride?

2008-06-13T10:38:00.000-05:00

The interesting thing about hanging out with that group of kids was their Milwaukee pride. The whooping affirmatives when someone would shout Who loves Milwaukee?It just never occurred to me to appreciate Milwaukee. To prefer it.I tried to get current and former Milwaukee residents to tell me what Milwaukee means to them. I didn't get many responses. To me, Milwaukee has been an involuntary

Bikists

2008-06-12T11:28:00.000-05:00

It was weird, sitting outside People's Books on Tuesday. The group started at 7 or so, and ballooned to twice that or more. More chairs, more bikes, more kids, gathered in a circle on the sidewalk; the compliment-gauntlet for anyone who passed by.I stated thinking about something that stuck with me the rest of the night. Let me give an example. Later on, the group of us, give or take a few, biked

More thoughts on race and money

2008-06-11T14:06:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was one of those days when I kept thinking about sitting down to write, kept planning to get some thoughts out of my head, but kept avoiding it through action. I could write, or I could get to work on time; I could write, or I could eat lunch with my co-workers; I could write, or I could go for this bike ride and meet all these new people and go skinny dipping and get caught by the

Mad as a Hatter

2008-06-09T09:14:00.000-05:00

I keep trying to get away from this book - Anthropology of an American Girl - but there's something addictive about it. I think about putting it down, returning it to the library, but each night, I pick it up, can't help but read more.I blame this book for my present madness. People ask, how have you been, and all I can answer is restless. Mad as a hatter. But this book is not promoting the

Notes from a day in May

2008-05-30T10:44:00.000-05:00

"I sit down before a letter or my journal with a desire for honest, but perhaps in the end I am the biggest liar of them all... because of the semblance of sincerity." -Anais Nin, Henry and JuneWhy is that all the pretty girls work in non-profit? I mean, of course, there are pretty girls working in other fields - waitresses, librarians, scientific researchers, and the girls in corporate offices

Shadows and Cardamom

2008-05-21T11:59:00.000-05:00

I started reading Three Shadows, by Cyril Pedrosa, yesterday afternoon. Since I don't work on Tuesdays, I've been spending a lot of time at the library, wandering the aisles, hoping that a book will save my life. Ever since Persepolis came out, I've been reading graphic novels all over the place. I wonder why that is. (I would go into a wandering essay all about graphic novels vs. comics, what

Joie de Faire

2008-05-16T13:25:00.000-05:00

So, this morning, as I was watching the news and eating my breakfast, Gus Gnorski (Fox 6 News all-around-fix-it-guy) introduced a craft fair going on today. Because it's morning, I rarely ever pay full attention to what's being said on screen, so I don't remember the details of where and when.The woman that Gus spoke to was north of 60 years old, and describing the painted wooden carvings that

There was a little girl

2008-05-15T11:19:00.000-05:00

There was a little girlWho had a little curlRight in the middle of her foreheadWhen she was goodShe was very good indeedBut when she was bad she was horrid-Longfellow