Now What?

I haven't been writing lately, on- or off-line. I've had a lot of trouble concentrating, really. When I try to lay down my thoughts, I'm daunted by a sense of, well, trite-ness. All I manage to write about lately are accounts of various events, and even those remain half-finished. I've considered a daily blog or journal entry, to keep some creative juices flowing, but feel unmotivated or unworthy or something. Life is so much more than I have time to devote writing about.

Which isn't to say that I'm not enjoying life. Far from it. I've been in a whirlwind life in the last few weeks. I'm working full time (well, I'm AT work full-time, that doesn't quite mean I'm busy full-time... this is why I'm frustrated and ready to go back to school). I've registered for two courses at UWM (Business Math and Entrepreneurship; thrilled and horrified at the idea of entering Academia again). My parents have promised to pay for my ticket to visit Austin and UT-Austin in March, so I've got a vacation looming on my spring horizons. And I've started a relationship with the most intelligent and mature boy I've dated yet.

All of this terrified me at first. I spent a few weeks gripping the moorings like a drunken sailor, panicking and thinking this wasn't the life I prepared for. A music major somehow became a film student who is now preparing for business school. Music and food and race and writing, and it's scary putting aside daydreams but not losing them? Or making them into viable options somehow requires doing tedious things? Do what you have to do in order to do what you want to do.

So, I don't know. We'll see what the upcoming days will bring.