The center of my world

Claire: I would like to know what is at the center of your world.

Robbie Clark: Well, I'm 22, I guess I would say me.

A month ago, I asked myself if I could list reasons to love Milwaukee and reasons to love myself. I explored reasons to love Milwaukee for a couple weeks, but still couldn't answer the question "why should I love and respect myself?" In the conversation with Nic Wednesday night, near sobbing, I said "as an issue unto itself, I've never really known why anyone would like me." And he stopped and said "are you kidding? You're fun and smart and musical." But it's one thing to hear it and another to believe it.

I don't know why it's so hard for me to believe that people find in me good. It could be some misguided attempt at humbleness that I won't believe. And why do I keep revisiting this subject of self-love and self- respect? Because, somehow I know that until I can find a balance between love for myself and love for others, between believing there is good in me and not becoming an ego-monster, I'll have trouble with relationships. Until then, I will always blame myself.