I've been feeling a strange mixture of disappointment and anger lately. I've felt that so many people simply won't step up and claim responsibility, for each other, for our actions, for the future. And the hardest part is realizing my own complicity in this process.
This is why I've always railed against the concept of "deserve." For example, I have angrily been repeating to myself "I deserve honest, I deserve for you to contact me, I deserve to know or set my own fate," while at the same time shying away from giving honest, contact and peace of mind to others. If one person deserves, everyone deserves. If everyone deserves, no one deserves more than others. Is that a flawed belief?
This confusion, then, this disappointment has lit an angry fire in my breast, one that screams for justice, for honest, for goodwill.
Ever since Obama was elected, I have wanted to pursue my ideal life. Like Lori said at My American Melting Pot, "I'm using Obama's amazing journey to become the 44th president of the United States to inspire me to make my dreams come true."
And as John said at A Life Worth Living Ideally, "I guess in the end the moral is to do what you love no matter what and the byproduct will allow us to be the sunshine in all the lives of others that we touch."
There are plans brewing inside me, plans I'm afraid to voice, because I've always felt that a voiced wish becomes vulnerable, but I think it's time to get started. Somehow. And like so many people have said, harnessing anger and disappointment can be the perfect way to start living the ideal life, whether it's ideal for your alone or ideal for everyone, something right will feed the positive energy in the world. Even if fueled by anger.
"Whatever it takes to get me to do the right thing at the right time is fine by me, whether that is anger or whatever. Anger can be a problem but it has tremendous potential too. It's just figuring out what to do with it." Sean Penn
1 comment:
Thanks for the great post Sara. I think that in the end your right, that a rejection of the old "messed up" way is much of the time the impotence for the change toward our living the life that we always want to live. At some level there has to be a breaking point and when we find that, it can be one of the most liberating and freeing moments that we find... because at the end is a glorious light at the end of a dark tunnel.
Best of Luck
Jon
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